Can’t Back Down! Chapter 10


Sitting back at the club, I watch as people mingle with each other. Then I hear someone clear their throat and look my way. “Um…hi.”

“Hi,” I reply.

“I’m Greg. What’s your name?”


“I like your name.”

“Thanks. I like yours.”

He smiles at me. “May I join you?”

I nod and he sits down.

“So what are you doing around here? Most people go to the clubs for hookups and one night stands. You know that right?”

“I actually didn’t know that,” I reply.

He nods. “But not me. I’m not that kind of person. I’m looking for a relationship.”

“Same here.”

“Wanna get out of here? Maybe go for a walk?”

“That actually sounds nice.”

We get up and head out the door. Before I know it we are holding hands. Eep! That’s the first sign that people are a couple. I am all over that like white on rice. I know. I’m a moron but what can I say?

The more we hold hands the more we talk about things. About whatever comes to mind. And as it turns out he lives next door to me. Well next door to Chris. The more we talk the more I get to know about him and that is just how I want it to be.

Before I know it, he gives me his number and address. Telling me I can come over whenever I wanna hang out. Sounds good to me.

Most people think that geeks are the worst people to date. That they give someone a bad name. I doubt that one.

They are quite the amazing people. And very sexy too.



It has been three weeks since we have gotten together and moved into the apartment we have now. We are more on a casual basis. We have talked about it and decided to date other people. To see the world. It would be selfish to hold each other back. And it would be a dick move too.

So when we get off work that evening, I head out and hit up the clubs around there. Most people think it is about the hookups or otherwise. As for me, I’m just looking for fun. To make a friend or two.

That is all I wanna do. I head out onto the dance floor and start moving to the beat of the music. Before I know it, I have five guys moving with me. Dancing around me. Closing in and grinding on me. It is enough to make a claustrophobic person get sick to their stomach but not me. I am all about this kind of fun.

Before I know it, most of them end up kissing me at least once on the lips if not on the neck.

“Wanna head back to my place?” I ask. They all nod. We head on out and back to the apartment. I head into the room and guide them around the house. Once done, we head to the bedroom and close the door.

We start fooling around. Kissing. Making out. I’ve never had an orgy before but this is getting more and more interesting. We all take care of each other and when all is said and done, I end up with five numbers as they walk out the door.

Sometimes it is worth having some fun. To experience something new. I never knew someone could have fun being in an orgy. They had talked me through it. Helped me out. And we did what we wanted to do.

No strings attached. No worries. No relationships coming out of it. Just old fashion screwing around.

When I head into the kitchen in only my underwear, I find Mason standing there with his jaw dropped. “How the hell did you manage to land 5 guys?”

“Just going out and having fun. Experiencing the night life.”

“Damn. They were all hot too.”

“I figure just go with the flow.”

“You might wanna get checked. More often than not, the ones that are hot usually end up being diseased.”

“Even if we all used condoms?”

He nods to me. “Yes. Even if condoms were used.”

I get something out of the fridge to eat and drink before heading back to the room.

Sitting there, I call up a doctor.



I don’t know what he did but I worry he is gonna be paying for it later on. A knock comes to the door and I open it. “Are you Tevin?”

I shake my head. “Come on in and I’ll get you to him.”

The doctor is one hot piece of man. Think Brad Pitt with Johnny Depp meets I don’t know…Leonardo Dicaprio. That is one hot combination there. He steps inside and I close the door. He has a nice ass. I wouldn’t mind getting to date or getting to know him.

I guide him to Tevin’s room and open the door for him. He turns smiles and nods at me, then he closes the door.

I head back to the bedroom and work on getting the place cleaned up. By the time he comes out of Tevin’s room, I am done getting my section cleaned up. He knocks on my door.

“Can I come in?” he asks.

“Yes,” I nod. He comes in and closes the door behind him.

“I wanted to say that well…I find you pretty cute. And I would wanna get to know you. So…”

He pauses and I beat him to the punch. “You wanna grab dinner when you get off work?” I ask.

“Sure. That’s exactly what I was gonna say.  I’ll come back in about an hour. I have to take this to work and drop it off.”

I nod and watch him head out of the room and the apartment. So fine. And he’s a doctor.

Paging Dr. Love. He’s in.

Can’t Back Down Chapter 9

I don’t get the world anymore. Sure I have a crush on Chris. Sure I have a lot more to figure out in life but I don’t know what it is gonna take.
Heading to work on my first day working for Chris and the office, I sit back and sift through the mail. Getting that done, I hand it out to the people it belongs to. Getting to the copier, I make copies for those that need them.
When I get done for the day, I head home with Chris and get to work on making dinner for one. I really need to find someone to date. This is just one of those times I need to figure things out. Sure I can crush on my landlord but I don’t wanna come across as easy or a jackass. I need to head out into the dating world.
Get my feet wet so to speak. I don’t know how I can do that but I can tell Chris is doing the same. “I’m heading out on a date tonight. Don’t wait up. Don’t worry about dinner. If you need anything, just text me. I always keep an eye on my phone.”
I nod to him and watch him walk out the door. I hope the man he goes on a date with truly appreciates everything about him. That would be a wonderful case but that is not how the world works. Remember: I come from a family that cares about no one but themselves and they won’t hesitate to put someone out of their misery just to get further in life but they have a lot to learn. That much I know for sure.
And as for me, I’m getting further in life by not caring about myself.
A little later, I head out and walk to the club down the street. Once inside—thank god for being eighteen—I sit back at the table and watch the bodies dance with each other. Such happiness. I want some of that. Happiness.
But I doubt it will happen.
Things just keep getting interesting for us. For the next week, we do nothing but get up, go to work, bust our butts and head on home for dinner. It works out for us and the more we stay out of the house the better off we become. It comes as no surprise to us that we are offered a chance to transfer. Now that both Mason and I are eighteen, we ask about getting a place together that would be covered by the company. They are all about making it happen which works wonders for us.
We sign the paperwork and they drive us to the house to get our stuff. In a matter of seconds we have our stuff and are back in the vehicle. Fred looks pissed but frankly I don’t give a rat’s ass.
We are getting somewhere and that is all that matters.
The moment we step into the in-house apartment, I am shocked at how huge the place is. Two bedrooms two bathrooms. A nice top of the line kitchen. Top of the line bathrooms. A living room. All the electricity and cable and water is all paid for. Everything is amazing. And the place is all stocked with the cooking supplies and then some.
And all we have to do is sew up clothes for eight hours a day five days a week. I am loving this life. I am thankful for this opportunity that god has dropped into our laps.
“Do you wanna share a room or have a separate one?” I ask him.
He looks at me and with worry in his eyes, replies, “Separate rooms. I like my space and I think this would be a great idea. Personally I really like you and I think you are wicked hot but I’m not ready to share a bedroom together.”
I nod and watch as he heads to the other room. God he has a nice butt. What I wouldn’t do to be between those cheeks. To have him for mine forever but time has a way of making someone work for it. No one’s a floozy. And thank Christ for that. At least no decent person is a floozy.
I head into the room that is mine and put the few things that are mine away. Once that is good and done, I sit back on the bed and watch some TV. This is the life. This is what I have been wanting to do. Live life one day at a time without having my conniving bitch of a mother yelling and beating me every five seconds.
That’s nice to have. And the softness of this bed. Oh hell yes. It works wonders on my bruises and shit.
Heading into the bathroom I take a look to see that the bruises are slowly fading. Things are coming together. And the scars are almost nonexistent. Works for me. It just means I’m one step closer to having a new life. I am all for recovery. Hell I need it at this point.
And some time away from Tevin will do that for me. When I head out of the bedroom and onto the kitchen, I spot Tevin getting chummy and comfortable with the TV in the living room.
I pull some food out of the fridge and start making dinner for two. Thank god for having a good sized kitchen and a breakfast nook. When I get the dinner done, I put out two plates and make my own before heading back to the room.
When I close the door, I hear Tevin helping himself to it and going on about being thankful about men like me and how we provide some of the most amazing foods.
Sitting back on the bed, I eat what is on my plate. When that is done, I set the plate aside and strip down to my underwear. I grab the remote and crank it down to seventy before getting good and comfy.
Not long after, I fall asleep.

Can’t Back Down! Chapter 8


The more I swim around the more I avoid him. It is hard for someone like me to handle someone looking at me and be unable to guard over my private parts. That is the hardest part for me. The more I swim the more I get used to the fact that I am not in the pool alone. It just tends to work out that way for me. And I am just fine with that. I know things will turn out just fine. I can tell. I can sense it.

When I think about it, I realize that I wanna what he looks like naked below the waist. When I come up for air, I notice he is in the hot tub that is attached but somewhat separated to the pool.

Gathering my courage, I head on over and slide right over the little bar into the hot tub. It is nice and relaxing. Makes me wanna stay in it and fall asleep for too long. When he spots me getting comfortable, Chris smiles and almost laughs.

“You have never been inside one of these bad boys have you?” he asks.

I shake my head. “Never have but now I know what they are like and I love it.”

Eighteen years of stress going down the drain. That is nice to have happen to me. No more siblings to have bitching at me. No mother to tell me what to do. No more father issues. No more grandma beating the hell out of me just because she can and then turning around and showing her consciousness.

Sad shame when people turn out to be that bipolar. Almost sickening.



I don’t know what I can do at this point. We head for a walk around the pasture. Think about it. The pasture. That pasture is big enough to cover a good 3 miles of walking. And that is just what we are going for. The full 3 mile walk.

We talk about whatever comes to mind. And honestly, it is very relaxing. The more we talk the more we get to know each other. He starts to see me as less of a rich boy and more of a decent person that cares about others and hasn’t had the company of another male in quite some time.

The more we talk the more we figure out about each other and before too long we are back at the house. We have walked the three miles and found out everything about each other. Well everything that each of us wants to talk about.

There are things that we don’t wanna talk about but that is normal.

We head inside and find out we are just in time to make our plates for supper. So we wash up and fill up our plates. Fred lets us eat wherever we want so we head up to the room.

After getting the food into our systems, I toss our Styrofoam plates into the trash and sit back on my bed. He comes over and joins me he just laid there, staring out the window.

So much goes through my head at this point. It works out wonderfully for me. He has his arm around my waist as he is behind me. We just lay there and listen to the sound of each other’s breathing and heartbeats. I can feel his heartbeat through his hand as he holds mind.

This is comfort. This is what it is all about.

Later that night, we set and break through another line of things that we have in mind.

We get our clean underwear—turn out he wears the same size stuff that I do—and head off to the bathroom. The only bathroom on the top floor of the house. It is a four story house and I am all about having a floor to myself with Mason.

We head to the bathroom and get a shower together. The sight of him completely naked gets me hard as a rock but I do my best to hide it.



We head off to bed and the next day I wake up in the same position. He is in my arms. Cradling himself close to me. Looking precious as a rare jewel.

I get some clothes on and think about needing to get some shopping done.

Heading outside, I spot a shop at the end of the road. I turn to Fred who is sitting on the porch and ask, “Is that a clothing store?”

“No but I can take you to one. Do you need clothes?”

“That’s not all I need. I need clothes. A job and to get out on my own.”

“That’s the spirit, kid. Tell you what, I’ll take you to get some clothes and you can work on it from there. In fact, I’ll talk to people about helping you all get jobs.”

Something tells me he has an ulterior motive. I don’t buy into this nice guy routine. Not one bit. I don’t know what it is gonna take to get out of this but I plan on doing things on my own.

“Wanna go for another walk?” I hear Tevin say behind me. I turn around.


I turn to Fred. “Maybe later,” I tell him. Tevin and I head off on the long walk to the store. Turns out it is a clothing store. A thrift store. And they are hiring. Why not take the chance?

Tevin and I fill out applications and before we know it, we are working in the back. Turns out Tevin is good at sewing and so am I. we work on sewing and fixing up clothes and before long it is four thirty.

We head back to the house for supper.

“That must have been some walk,” Fred says.

Sure was.

Can’t Back Down! Chapter 7


After supper, we head off to the living room and watch some TV together. I feel like we are truly getting to know each other and honestly that bring a smile to my face. We talk about what we like and what we don’t like. Honestly getting to know each other.

And the more I know about him the more attracted I become to him. I don’t know what it is but I feel like I could tell him anything and he would be okay with it. That he would protect me. That we could cuddle up together in a powerful storm and I would be safe.

But before I can allow myself to get caught up in the moment, I adjourn to my apartment for the night. Heading by the pool, I think about having a late night swim. I have always wanted to go swimming I just didn’t have the chance.

When I get to my place, I look at my clothes and sigh.

Looks like I might end up doing a bit of skinny dipping. Not that I mind. The water looks warm and I’m all about having some fun.

Heading out with a towel around my waist, I spot something moving and that’s when I see the lights turning on in the pool. I guess I’m not the only one interested in it. Heading to the pool, I drop the towel and hop right on inside.

Holy hell yes. That is the stuff. The water is nice and warm. Brings a smile to my face in the side of comfort.

The more I swim around, the more comfortable I get. And it takes until I break up the surface that I see something that gets my hormones raging. There is my roommate and landlord: naked and stepping into the pool.

I feel rather embarrassed when I get hard off the sight of that body of his. Wow. He is truly sculpted. You could never tell that based on the suits he wears.



The more I touch those marks on his body, the more I wanna cry out in anger, frustration, and hurt for him but instead I just bottle it all up. I don’t know what else to do at this point. Seventeen years of anger bottled up can do a lot to a person. It can make them close off themselves to anyone. To never end up wanting a relationship.

But as I look at the marks on his body—on his legs and his chest and arms—I shed a few silent tears. I don’t say a word as I run my hands along the marks tracing hem but not with any pressure. I don’t want him hurt or in tears. It would bother and pain me so much.

The more I touch him the more I wanna do things with him. Kiss him.

He sits up without saying a word and stares into my eyes. I connect with his gaze and look at him. He reaches out and wipes my tears from my cheeks. And soon after pulls my face close to his. His breathing is labored but then again so is mine but for a different reason.

He brings our lips together in a kiss that is passionate, honest, raw. I am so emotional I know but I have reason to be. Here is this handsome guy that has been beaten the crap out of and this is what has come to be for him.

The more we kiss the harder I get but I cannot help it. It is all because of his touch. His taste. His everything. He has a power over me that I cannot deny. Something that is true, honest and real.

I find myself wanting to straddle him. Bring myself closer and closer to him. But I have to hold back. One step at a time.

Our kiss ends when there comes a knock to the door. My cock drops from hard to soft in an instant and so does his. He tosses on his spare clothes and I unlock the door.



I hate it when someone ruins a moment so badly. But when Tevin opens the door, I can understand. It’s the man that runs the house.

“How’s it going up here?” he asks as he steps inside.


“I see you two are getting to know each other. Finding some common ground I hope?”

I nod at him. “We sure are.”

“I was wondering if I could talk to you alone, Mason.” Tevin nods and closes the door as he heads out. So much for the heat of the moment. The owner of the home locks the door.

“What is it that has brought you here? Why would my buddy bring you here?” he asks.

I strip down to my underwear and show him all the bruises and marks that I have on my body.

He gasps. “What parent of yours did this?”

“My mother. I never knew my father. Never was a part of my life.”

“And let me guess…your mother takes it out on you. Calls you a mistake?”

“That would be right,” I reply.

He nods. “Please put your clothes back on. I hate to see that. Well, I will do what I can to find out what I can do about getting that taken care of. I’ll also look up remedies for curing bruises and such. For clearing up scars. The sooner that is done the better off you are.”

He stands up and unlocks the door once he gets to it. “I’m Freddie by the way. And welcome home. You are more than welcome to stay as long as you want.”

I thank him and watch him go. Tevin comes back in a few moments later. “Would you wanna go for a walk?”

“Sure,” I say and switch into my tight jeans. The last thing I need is to be made fun of for having a boner in public.

Can’t Back Down Chapter 6


That evening, we have a lovely dinner. And talk about a few things. About my shitty family. About the fact my grandma showed only once in my life she has a conscious.

He seems to laugh about it. “How is it that no one has snatched you up?” he asks.

“What do you mean? Why I don’t have a boyfriend? Girlfriend?”

“Interesting that you would say boyfriend first,” he replies rubbing his chin.

“What about it?” I ask.

“Do you like boys? Are you gay?”

“I don’t know how that is any of your business.”

“I just asked. I didn’t mean to upset you or anything,” he says. He starts backing off the subject when I respond to his statement.

“I think I actually do like boys.”

“Do you find any attraction whatsoever to the female form or girls at all?” he asks.

I shake my head. “I don’t.”

“Then you are gay. It’s as simple as that.”

“Now that you know, are you gonna spread it around town and give people another nickname for me?”

“I wont say anything if you don’t want me to. I don’t go around starting shit with people. I just end up hearing stuff. That’s all.”

“Oh,” I say feeling like a total jackass. I start beating myself up mentally as I stay silent. He reaches a hand over.

“If it helps, I’m gay too.”

“So where is your boyfriend?” I ask.

“Six feet under. He died two years ago. Some debilitating muscle disease took his life. He never had a fighting chance.”

My heart breaks as he tells the story. The more he tells the more depressed I feel. But I feel a glint of hope when I realize that he is available. Single and ready for the world. Good for him.

We change the subject and talk about other things. He talks about what he likes in a guy and asks me what I am interested in.

“Just let him be breathing. And have a good heart too. I’m all about that.”

He nods.



I still don’t like this place but at least I have someone that I am interested in. and when I let go of his hand, I admire the blushing that comes to his cheeks. The heat. The way his clothes cling to his body.

I worry about what he has under those tight clothes. Does he have anything other than what is in his one bag?

So many questions come to mind and too many possibilities lead to more and more questions. But I shove them out of my head. To hell with them. I will find out when I find out.

He keeps hold of my hand and swings it. “We are alone,” he says and I start blushing. Damn the luck. Who knew I would be with a handsome man that likes me.

“Are you? You know?” I ask him.

He nods. “And what about you? Are you gay?”

I nod hesitantly. I wanna take advantage of this so much but I don’t. We head over to our beds and gaze at each other. He is so handsome. He is average height and knows how to work a pair of jeans and a turtleneck sweater.

“What kind of home did you come from?” I ask him. I’m honestly curious about it.

“You first,” he says. Understandable.

“I came from a rich father and a mother that didn’t deal with the hell my dad put us through. She divorced my dad and unfortunately left me with him. So while he had me to himself, he beat the living hell out of me. I have been taken to the hospital enough to know the nurses and most of the doctors by first name basis. I have tried turning him in but no one listens to the rich boy. And I hate that about people,” I reply.

He nods as though he knows. It only makes me more and more curious about it. About him. What his life is like.

“What about you?”

“I never knew my dad. My mother had an affair and says I am the mistake that comes out of it. For almost eighteen years now, she has been savagely beating me and using me as her personal slave. If I so much as screw up anything, she beats me mercilessly. And I have the scars to prove it.”

I look at him shocked.



“Can I see?”

“Is the door locked?” I ask.

He nods. “Made sure of it.”

“And can I trust you to not say anything to anyone about them?”

He nods again. “Sure. I’m excellent about keeping secrets.”

I pull off my sweater and shirt, revealing all the slices and bruises. The scars and the damage. He comes over to me almost in tears but more in shock. He looks at me for permission and I nod.

“This is only half of them,” I tell him as he reaches out and guides his soft hands along the scars and the pain. It feels wonderful. Makes me feel human after all with the way he touches me. I get chills and a pleasurable sensation from his touch but I don’t say a word. I merely hold back and let him run his hands along my chest, my arms, and my back.

He looks like he is between wanting to cry and wanting to punch out a window but I don’t know for sure. He just surprises the hell out of me. But I like him touching me.

“Wanna see the other half?” I ask. He steps back a fair distance and nods.

I stand up and pull my jeans down. Sliding them off, I toss them to the side and lay back on the bed, like a person on the verge of getting a medical exam. He touches my legs and the hairs stand up.

God I love his touch.

So much. It brings humanity back to me.

Comfort. Calmness. Safe. Protection.

Can’t Back Down! Chapter 5


I don’t even care at this point what could happen to me. If I can get this man’s number I would be happy as hell.

The more we talk the more he gets to know me and what I want out of an apartment.

And when it is all said and done, he pulls out a contract.

“What address is this for?” I ask.

“I think it would be easier for you to rent from me. I have a guesthouse. 3 bedrooms, 3 baths. I’m only charging 140 a month which is a damn steal in this economy. And plus I figure it would be the best for you.”

I shrug. “Ah what the hell. Why not?” I reply and sign the contract.

We shake hands and he has me ride in his car with my stuff. We head to his place and he shows me around the 3 bedroom guesthouse. It is single story but it comes with free use of the pool. Hells yeah. I’m all over that kind of thing.

Once inside, I find myself wondering just what the night will bring around. He heads back to work and I am alone at my new home. The guest house. It has all the electricity, water, and furniture put together and started up.

Just a matter of putting things where they belong.

Finding the master bedroom in the house, I set my suitcase down and bags down before putting the clothes away in the dresser. Once that is done, I sit back on the bed and turn on the TV.

I turn to my right to find a note from none other than the handsome guy himself.

Dinner is at seven. Come into the main house and I’ll take care of feeding you. And don’t worry. We will figure things out. I’ll help you get a job. Help you get a car. That kind of thing.”

I don’t know when he wrote the note but I am thankful that he did write it.

Very thankful and hopefully there will be no surprises.



When we get to the location, I spot it to be like a farm. Strange. I don’t know of any farms that would want kids around unless they have an ulterior motive. And something tells me this one does. I can tell. I wish it would be true.

Then I can take this place down and show the world what farms do to people like me. I don’t know what it will take to get comfortable but I know dam well I am about to find out.

We head up to the door and she knocks on it.

“Well, well, well. Look who is here. You must be Tevin,” the man says and holds out his hand. I’m a bit hesitant. And for those that know I go through understand why I am hesitant about it.

But soon after I find it is best to do it. The sooner I shake the hand the sooner I can move in and move on with life.

I shake it and don’t look him in the eye. I don’t like to look men in the eye. Not since I saw my father’s anger come down on me over and over again for more than seventeen years.

When I take his hand, he smiles at me. and I spot a hint of danger in that smile of his. But I don’t know how to vocalize it whatsoever.

How could someone vocalize the worry that they will be used like a workhorse and get beaten the shit out of?

I don’t know but I know this is gonna get worse for me. I can smell it. Sense it. When I get done with the tour, the agent leaves us and I feel that pang of worry in my gut. That fear that attacks my skin.



The more we walk around the more I sense things are gonna get worse. It worries me that I am in a place that I don’t know anything about.

My counselor leaves and here I am sitting on the couch.

“You are not the first person that has come to me. I just had someone a few hours ago show up. He is quite the handsome guy.”

Is this guy gay?

I feel like he might try to hit on me.

Or maybe he will try something else.

“Come with me,” he says when he notices I haven’t said a word. And I have reason to not say a word.

More often than not I don’t ever get heard. So this is one of those things that needs to happen. This is something that can work things out.

There is nothing that can stop what could happen next.

We head up the stairs and off to the room that is destined for myself to stay in. He lets me walk into the room and quickly closes the door behind him.

I sit back and think about what its gonna take to get through this kind of thing. What it will take to move on in life.

I don’t know but I figure things will come together in time. Just in the nick of time too.

The door opens and shuts. I watch as another person around my age—a boy—locks the door and turns to me.

“You must be a new guy,” he says and holds out his hand. I nod to him and he smiles. A smile that I haven’t seen ever in my life.

“I’m Tevin,” he says and holds out his hand. I take his hand and shake it.


He surprises it in a kiss.

Can’t Back Down! Chapter 4


When I get home a good week later, I pack up my bags and head down the road. I hop onto the bus and ride to 32nd street. This is my chance to get out of there. I am alone and I have the money I have saved up.

This is what being an adult is like. I can sense it. Once I get off the bus, I head to the real estate agent’s office. I sit there and wait for someone to come up and approach me.

When one does, I recognize him faintly and admire his beauty. He is the same guy that came out my freshman year of school. He is strong, masculine, and sexy. But he is older than I. I’m willing to bet he would never give me the time of day. That’s just how it works.

I’m the average kind of guy that no one gives a damn about. Go figure. A boy from a large family that gives no damn about him.

I wonder if grandma actually cares about me. Maybe. Probably not. I don’t know. The more I think about it the more upset it makes me so I shove it away.

When he gets to me, he holds out his hand. “Chris David. What’s your name?”

“Ike. Ike Stevenson.”

“So you are the infamous Stevenson boy,” he says and smiles.

I raise an eyebrow. “What are you talking about?”

“Word has gotten around town that you are hiding something and everyone wants to know.”

I keep my mouth shut. I nod. “Okay then. What would it take to get a cheap apartment for one person? What does something like that cost?”

He looks at me and smiles. “Let’s see. Come on back with me and we will find something for you,” he says.

I start walking side by side with him and he puts his arms around me. I feel a hint closer to him. And I feel like I wanna get to that office and experience my first kiss.

But I am gonna back off and go on a limb thinking he is with someone. Doing myself a favor that way.

Sitting there, I listen and answer his questions. The whole time I secretly admire that body of his. Those large legs. That smile of his. Those eyes of his that make me wanna know him more. Maybe date him. I don’t know yet.

“So what do you think?” he asks. “What are you looking for?”



The agent comes around and powders me with questions. When my father comes around, she has him put under arrest for child endangerment. When he puts two and two together, he turns to me and spits his every word with spittle flying everywhere.

“You son of a bitch. I regret the day I ever made you with your whore of a mother. I wish you would just die. You ware nothing. And you will never be nothing. Do you hear me?”

When I turn my head away and walk off with the agent, I hear him keep yelling at me. “Tevin David answer me you little mistake. You fucking mistake you don’t deserve to live. Do you understand that? Of course you don’t. You are fucking retarded.”

She turns to me and guides me using her hand. We get into her nice car and she drives us off to the office. “Are you okay Tevin?” she asks.

I nod. “I’m used to it.”

“What else has he done to you other than verbally assault you?”

“I cannot show you in a moving vehicle.”

She smiles. “Smart man. When we get to the office, I’ll get us a private place so you can show me and I can document it.”

I nod to her and turn my head so I face out the window. Vehicles fly by us and the city soon disappears. Where exactly is she taking me?

I worry.



I sit in his vehicle as he drives me out of town. I don’t know where we are going but I fear he is gonna put me to work. He has to have some kind of secret intentions.

We keep driving. Hours on end. I get hungry but I figure it doesn’t matter to him. And plus I am used to starving myself. It doesn’t matter. I get weaker and weaker by the mile.

And before long, I pass out.

I come to rather quickly to the scent of McDonald’s cheeseburgers and fries. When I come to, he hands me a bag of food.

“Eat. Get something in your stomach. We are almost there,” he says.

I nod and take the bag. Hesitant about eating, I sniff and lick at the food, making sure he hasn’t tried to poison me or anything.

When I get the taste into my mouth, I start devouring the food hungrily. Tends to happen when you haven’t had food in a good four days.

But I’m used to it.

When I get full, I set the bag down.

He hands it back to me. “Hold onto it. You will be hungry later. I can tell.”

“Where are you taking me? What do you want with me?”

“I have a friend that helps out others like yourself. He is a good buddy and you can trust him.”

When we get there, I step out of the vehicle and grab my bag. My bag of clothes from my gym locker. I don’t wanna talk about it.

We walk up to the door and he knocks. I stand there, starting to shake from fear. He reaches over and rubs my back but that does no good. Makes me even more nervous.

“Come on in,” the man says.

We step inside and sit on the couch. there I watch as eight different people about my age and slightly younger run on by chasing each other. Must be nice to be here. Must be nice to feel safe.

That would be the ticket for me. To feel safe. But I doubt it will happen.